Mortgage Nerd - Mortgages

Mortgages And The Nerds Who Love Them

The Upside to the Downside

Living in Mother's basement has its advantages. Free rent, no icky girls to bother you, no need to go out into the world and suffer a job. No need to worry about getting a mortgages and dealing with impossibly ignorant people with faulty world views and awkward valves. You don't have to suffer the exhaustion of mediocrity in general. What does this have to do with mortgages? Nothing. After all, I'm a nerd for a reason. Nerds are socially repellent by definition. We make people uncomfortable in the most basic ways. We say things no one cares about and it makes them hate us. We do things like make entire websites devoted to mortgages. This is the curse of the nerd. And the only prescription is more mortgages.

Mother says soon I have to get a job, and I am fully considering going into mortgage lending. I'm not sure how one goes about this. Should I sent an email from my Gmail account to The Lending Tree and offer my services? Never thought about using a mortgages broker before? An experienced broker has all the resources necessary to find the best possible home loan for your situation. Even if you have terrible credit, it's still possible to find a home loan that won't put you even further into debt. Believe it or not, there are loan and refinancing programs that can help you get back on your feet while getting into an excellent investment. Even if you're in the middle of a foreclosure, or are currently unemployed, there are still avenues that you can take. That's what I keep telling myself anyway as it comes closer to me getting a job in mortgages and then getting my own place. What kind of wallpaper should I get?

Mortgage Nerd joins the work force

I'm not too excited about taking my place in the rat race, to be honest. Working is for dirty and dumb people, whereas I am clean and sensitive and prone to illness. Perhaps I can to on unemployment pension if I prove my mortgages expertise. How does that work? Someone email me please about this right now. Yes, mortgages can be a tricky thing-you need someone on your side who understands all the fine print and legalese. When you use an experienced and motivated broker, you know that you're in good hands. Owning a home is worth a challenge, but with a great broker, it definitely doesn't have to be one! When I am a lender I will specialize in bad credit mortgages, but from a thick Plexiglass partition of course--people with bad credit in my experience have been dirty people.

What else can I say about mortgages or home loans? Nothing probably, considering I don' t know anything about them. Nope, I am a fraud. Can't tell you a damn thing about a home loan from my basement, now can I? My whole life is a sham. I don't even know what second mortgages are. And don't ask me about countrywide mortgages or American mortgages because I don't know those either. Mother was right, I am a moron.

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